I live much of my life in a deep sea of irony… which seems to be the best way for the Universe to ensure it has my undivided (so help me gods!) attention. I believe in the existence of Love Languages (I *dare* you to guess mine) and based on ample experience, I’m beginning to think there should be a Lesson Language too. Because mine would be irony.  As soon as life starts dishing a neat little string of metallic tasting events, my ears prick and I listen. Because, based on a slew of similar circumstance which have indicated that if I choose to ignore the subtle messages, the gods tend to make their motives a whole lot more obvious. Until somebody gets hurt …real bad… and that’s usually me.

The core tenets to my life can conveniently be distilled into three words, namely :: Love. Truth. and Freedom. So it’s no small wonder that I stumble across this old essay this week as I battle the demons of accounting and finance. Penned during my ‘workshop phase’, it’s somewhat, erhm… ‘ironic’ to read knowing what I know now.

‘now i’m free from all your pain…’

Unbending Intent on Freedom

My sense of freedom is a vision. I see my Being breaking out of a prison of shackles, heavy chains that keep me trapped within a labyrinth of false truths, warped judgments and “educated” limitations. I sense the energy and the power pulsing through me as I bust each link, and the chains splinter into atoms of wasted metal. The illusion shatters as I find myself in a massive field, an ocean of lush grass, arms outstretched to the clear blue sky and I spin – wild and free – one with the earth and the air. I spin and spin and spin and spin until I run out of solid ground and stop, poised on a precipice. I take a deep breath, close my eyes and dive out into the Unknown, into  insubstantial fathoms of air below. Falling faster, faster – plummeting like a shooting star into the abyss until, suddenly, there’s stillness and I’m soaring – no longer a subject held in place by the constraints of gravity… and I laugh, for I am free! I’m free! I’m free!

My sense is that I’ve allowed myself to become trapped in a prison – restrained by manacles I designed to hold me in a narrow and comfortably constrained reality. I’ve deemed this illusion “safe” because I think I can exercise some level of control here. But the more my Being begins to remember, the more I realize I’ve chosen the false security of a crude cage over the vast mystery and magic of freedom. I’ve effectively enslaved my Being with limited thoughts and responses that, like the cold coils of an anaconda, have wrapped me ever tighter in illusion. To experience the freedom of the field, that graceful flight, I have to bust the chains that hold me captive – until every last shackled link has been destroyed. With a disciplined dedication, I keep on searching until I identify every old pattern and judgment I’ve used to hide behind, brought them to light and released them. With clear commitment, I remain unwavering on this course – addressing whatever appears with humility and impeccability – until I am finally totally free. Whilst striving to make the same possible for others, so they may set themselves free and we can enter into the new world, together.

find your direction magnetically…

In demonstrating my intent for this “new” reality, I recognize that freedom is the principle by which I navigate my journey – I travel with that purpose firmly in mind. Like a co-ordinate, an unwavering mark it is the natural point to which I voyage. My unbending intent is illustrated by this determination – I’m dedicated to the quest– no matter what! And with fresh eyes, I view challenges along my path as opportunities to check my course and strengthen my resolve.

For me to know Freedom is:

• to be truly independent – without the need for external validation
• to stand and claim my worth without excuse, free from redundant masks and old wounds
• to stand as me, without the fortress of defences I built to keep me “safe” but confined – a limited version of who I am
• to be in total surrender to my Being
• to love with an open heart – with no expectation, simply to experience the joy of feeling and sharing that love with the universe
• and to move in the world with nakedness, with the vulnerability that allows others to see me for who I am

I choose to fully express my Being, to greet each dawn with passion and infectious energy because I’m living my dreams – unrestrained by expectation or desire – true to myself and, ergo, free.

I aspire to Freedom and my unbending intent is the compass that directs my resolve.

*

Careful what you wish for, for it shall be given and often the path there is harder and higher than you might well have bargained for…

Tonight, I found the trailer for Brave. Which is essentially about a girl, wanting to be free:

My kinda Disney! Finally a faery tale of empowerment where sistas are doin’ it for themselves. Amen Annie! Of course, it’s no small irony that our leading lady has to slay a bear to be free. While I have to face off with baboons on an almost daily basis, there’re no bears in the Deep South but… perhaps my most significant eX had as his familiar, a bear. And was affectionately known to me, with intentioned word play, as ‘Bare’.

So to end, a quote :

“Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The trouble-makers. The round heads in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules, and they have no respect for the status-quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify, or vilify them. But the only thing you can’t do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.”

~ Think Different Advertisement (Apple Computers)

ps yes little sleuths and sleuthettes, aforementioned quote is indeed intricately linked to a budding new love affair with 1x iPhone…